


Obnoxious Makeout

by not_triangular



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Fluff, Foreplay, M/M, PWP, Shameless Smut, Yelling, ZaDr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 20:57:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3743323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_triangular/pseuds/not_triangular
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The cursing, the grappling, the threats and the insults were one thing - but the groaning was the most horrible sound of all."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obnoxious Makeout

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write this instead of doing things I am supposed to be doing. Please don't hesitate if you have any constructive criticism, I am rusty and need to improve. Also, please let me know if I stuffed up in the posting of this in some way! I apologise for my excessive use of the word "horrible". 
> 
> It can be assumed that Dib is over the age of consent.  
> Don't own, not canon, I am not profiting from this. If anything, writing this has made me a worse person.

The city slept. Various electrical devices hummed, a low, oddly comforting blanket of electrical waves pulsing through the resting buildings. A staticky blanket. In the Membrane household, the lights were switched off but the house was anything but quiet. The awful noise coming from an upstairs window spilled out onto the dead quiet street, a particularly loud shriek startling a nearby homeless man. The cursing, the grappling, the threats and the insults were one thing - but the groaning was the most horrible sound of all.

Separated from the awful noises by only a wall, Gaz seethed. She had heard some bizarre sounds from Dib's room over the years, but nothing compared to being woken up at some ungodly hour of the night by this-- whatever it was. Gaz shuddered. She didn't even want to think about it. She gave the wall a solid thump, resulting in a second's pause.

"Did you hear that?" her dimwitted brother's muffled voice came through the wall.

"SHUT UP DIB! SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OR I'LL MAKE YOU SUFFER! STOP DOING THOSE AWFUL THINGS IN THERE!"

"… oh my god. I'm sorry Gaz!" There was a pause, a thump and muffled, slightly maniacal sounding laughter.

Gaz seethed, muttering to herself about the hideous vengeance she would have on Dib in the morning. She cranked the volume on her headphones up and tried to settle in for sleep.

\----

"Okay, Zim," Dib whispered furiously. "You have to be quiet now."

"Quiet? I will take NO such orders from you! Unlike you, ZIM does not fear the Dib-sister!"

"Really? Because you said that pretty quietly."

"Silence!"

Dib rolled his eyes, and rolled on top of the alien so that their bare stomachs pressed together. "Just shut up, okay?" He leaned in and kissed Zim on the mouth, slowly at first, then harder and faster. They opened their mouths to each other, tongues touching and exploring, picking up the pace. The alien's mouth was incredibly dry. That didn't bother Dib nearly as much as Zim's sharply pointed teeth, or his tendency to shove his tongue right into Dib's mouth when he got too into it, causing him to gag.

As their kissing became increasingly aggressive, Zim grabbed Dib around the middle and rolled them over so he was on top. He grabbed Dib's face in his claws, feeling the teenager's jaw hinge open and closed as they made out. He ran his tongue over the boy's teeth, then his lips, taking the bottom lip in his mouth and sucking experimentally for a moment before he pulled away to survey his enemy at close quarters.

"You're disgusting," Zim hissed. He ran a clawed hand down Dib's chest. The boy's sweat and saliva burned him slightly; it was unpleasant but not unbearable. It was nothing the mighty Zim couldn't handle. The Dib-thing looked up at him, his awful human breath falling warmly on Zim's face. His body was extremely hot to the touch. Humans and their lack of temperature regulation. Zim smiled, thinking about how superior he was. He swooped back down for another kiss at the same moment as Dib raised his head. Their foreheads knocked together.

"Ouch!"

"Be quiet, Dib-thing," Zim muttered, grabbing Dib by the back of the neck and pushing their mouths together again. The boy beneath him reciprocated eagerly, his hands roaming across ZIm's back, fingers pressing into the smooth, hairless alien flesh. Zim was breathing heavily into his mouth, shuddering at the strange sensation of being touched. Their kissing was becoming increasingly aggressive, Zim's grip on Dib's neck tightening.

Zim moved his hand to rest over Dib's windpipe and pressed down. "I could strangle you, you know," Zim murmured as an afterthought. "I could end your filthy stink-beast life right now. Inferior human."

"You're a filthy alien," Dib retorted. "And one day I'm going to have you laid out on an autopsy table, and everyone is going to know that you--" He was broken off by Zim's mouth on his. He pulled away, and buried his face in the alien's neck, pulling Zim closer towards him as he kissed and bit him. "I'm going to expose you for who you really are one day, ZIM," he muttered into the alien's shoulder, arousal surging through him. "I'm going to have you locked up, and you'll never take over the earth. I'll be a hero." His voice was getting louder, thoughts of his sister in the next room forgotten already. The thought of destroying Zim was causing his erection to throb violently in his jeans.

Zim chose not to comment, instead rolling them over so they lay on their sides facing each other. He hooked his leg over Dib's, pressing against him. They lay like that for several seconds, both breathing heavily. Zim pulled his torso away slightly to relieve the burning sensation. Dib was completely soaked in sweat, and Zim was slightly baffled as to how he could continue to perspire so much. Surely his stores of the liquid would run out at some point? His hand lay on Dib's hip; he gave the inferior human's flesh a squeeze. Desire pumped through him. He thought about choking Dib until his eyeballs popped out of his head. He thought about grabbing Dib's crotch. He thought about human mating. How on Irk did they bear it, what with the amount of horrible, disgusting sweat that _two_ humans rutting must produce?

"This is ridiculous, ZIm." Dib felt electrified, out of control of himself. "I want-- I don't even know what I want." He couldn't stop his hands from shaking. Sucking in a deep breath, he worked his hand down between them to press against the front of Zim's trousers, feeling the bulge there. Zim shuddered, burrowing his face into the crook of Dib's neck. "I want to cut you up into tiny little pieces, Zim."

"Impossible! Zim would impale you with his PAK legs before you ever got the chance, filthy worm child!" Zim screeched into Dib's neck. "I would make you bleed! Oh, the bleeding you would do!"

"You need to be quiet!" Dib hissed. He shoved his hand roughly into ZIm's pants, seizing the alien's dick. "And that would never happen." He lowered his voice. "I would build a-- some kind of thing to-- trap you! And then I would burn you alive. No, I would disembowel you..." He began to pump his hand up and down Zim's erection, slowly at first then with increasingly vicious speed as his enthusiasm mounted. Dib felt crazed, overwhelmed with arousal. "No, I want to tear you to pieces with my bare hands! I want to rip your face off, I want to cut you open and walk around inside you, I want to--"

"NO! ZIM WILL DESTROY YOU FIRST!" Zim yelled, pleasure pumping through his body at Dib's hand. "KEEP DOING THAT! YOUR FUTURE SLAVE LORD COMMANDS YOU!"

Zim rolled onto his back and wriggled out of his trousers, glaring at Dib as the human propped himself up on one side to loom over Zim, continuing to rant as he jerked the alien off. "One day, Zim, one day I'm going to perform your autopsy MYSELF! I'm going to chain you to a table and cut out all of your ORGANS! ALL OF THEM!"

"No-- you won't!" Zim retorted, gritting his teeth as Dib's ministrations became more and more unbearable. "I would-- escape first-- and-- liquefy YOUR ORGANS with some kind of-- liquefying… thingy…"

Through the half light coming in through the window, Dib could make out Zim's face in the dark. His eyes were screwed shut; he sucked in a huge amount of air, his dick stiffening in Dib's hand and his whole body tensing. Dib realised he was about to make Zim come, and got all up in the alien's face about it. "DOES THAT FEEL GOOD, ZIM?" he demanded manically. "HOW GOOD IS IT GOING TO FEEL WHEN I CUT YOU OPEN AND STUDY ALL OF YOUR ALIEN ORGANS? HUH?"

"Just-- keep-- going-- you horrible, filthy--"

With a pained groan Zim came, shooting over Dib's hand and arm and his own belly. He gasped for breath, his head flopping back onto the bed and his muscles un-tensing. He felt the Irken equivalent of a post-coital afterglow settle onto him. Wordlessly, Dib turned on the a bedside lamp, and handed Zim a box of tissues from the nightstand.

Dib stared at the alien spunk that covered his hand and forearm, half expecting it to come alive and attack him or something. He had the sudden urge to run out of the room and vomit. He glanced across at Zim, who was wiping himself off gingerly, squinting from the light of the lamp. The alien suddenly looked very small. There was no going back now, he supposed. No point pretending he was normal, no point pretending that this incredibly strange coupling between himself and ZIm wasn't exactly what he had been aching for since the moment he hit puberty.

His mouth felt sore, his lips stung. Zim's tongue had been like sandpaper. He ran his tongue over his lips. He could still taste Zim - sour, but not unpleasant. Dib tried to imagine what a human female would taste like. Less foreign, probably more like however he tasted.

"We awoke the Dib-Sister," Zim muttered. "Do you think she heard _everything_?"

"Probably, knowing my luck."

"It does not matter. The Dib-Sister should feel honoured to have been privy to the greatness that is ZIm. I expect she is currently exploding of happiness."

"She'll probably just beat me to death tomorrow morning."

"Eh. Well, either way."

Dib groaned and lay down, tossing a fistful of tissues onto the bedside table. His pants still felt too tight, but he was quickly losing his erection at the reminder of his sister and her wrath. Beside him, Zim flopped down onto the bed. They weren't touching, but close proximity was inevitable in Dib's narrow bed.

Zim's thoughts wandered. When he returned to his base he would call the Tallest. Surely they would be impressed to hear of his superior mating prowess. Perhaps they would even be aroused, and envious to know that Zim had allowed someone the honour of copulating with him. Perhaps they would want to copulate with him. He would have to gracefully decline, of course. His mission was on Earth; he was a fierce invader, and he would never compromise that mission. Silly Tallest. He glanced across at the Dib, who appeared lost in his own thoughts. Probably basking in gratitude for what had just happened. Probably wondering how on Irk he got so lucky as to be able to mate with someone as glorious as ZIm.

"Do you know how many times I've gotten myself off, thinking about killing you?" Dib broke the silence.

Zim was familiar with the crude earth terminology, having attended High Skool long enough to pick up on the horrible things the children said to each other in the playground. "Zim, too, has experienced arousal at the thought of ruining your life and everything you care about, Dib-worm." He reached out and poked the boy's cheek with his claw, a little too sharply to be a fond gesture.

"Don't touch me." Dib said redundantly, swatting away Zim's clawed hand. "Anyway, I'm going to sleep now." He rolled over, stifling a yawn as he pulled the blankets around his bare chest.

"Zim will kill you in your sleep."

"Not if I kill you first." Dib's eyelids felt heavy. A thought hit him, and he turned around to look at Zim over his shoulder. "So are you going to leave now or what?" he asked abruptly. "I don't particularly want to have to look at your face in the morning."

"What makes you think I would want to look at your ugly giant head tomorrow, or at any moment? I'll leave soon, but only when I feel like it. Not because you tell me to." Zim waved a hand dismissively. "Now go. Have your weak pitiful sleep. I'm going to, uh, stay here for a while and think about how I'm going to destroy you and this planet."

Dib sank back down into the pillow. "Whatever. Goodnight, Zim. You're horrible."

Gradually, Dib's breath-noises settled into the steady rhythm of sleep. Zim sat up and cracked open one of the blinds, peering out into the street below. The sun was beginning to rise properly, dispersing the sickly orange glow of the street lights. He looked down at Dib's head, his hair-follicles piled around them. They were probably filthy with lice and worm-parasites. Tentatively, he reached out and touched the follicles, immediately retracting his hand and checking it for infestation afterwards.

Dib shifted in his sleep, mumbling something nonsensical.

"Filthy, disgusting…" Zim muttered, letting his hand rest on Dib's head again. He stared down at the ugly, stupid, giant-headed, sleeping earthling, telling himself he would leave any minute now.


End file.
